GTA V: Review

Unlimited possibilities, breathtaking landscapes, insane characters and a open world of online mayhem. It can only be Rockstar’s latest installment.

Too many games tease you with distant scenery that you could never touch no matter how persistent you are - not in GTA V.

One thing was very apparent from the first moments and continually became truer - a lot of thought has gone into making this. The acting is great, the script is fresh and funny, the map is gi-normous and the characters are deeply flawed and we love them for it. I’ll start with the story. It’s centred around three guys working together to pull off bigger and more ambitious heists each time. But it’s much more than that. It’s really about the relationship between a couple of old buds, Michael and Trevor reliving their youth to regain their former wealth, with the help of a young, entrepreneurial up-and-comer, Franklin. Without giving away any plot details, it’s unpredictable, twisted and more varied than a politically sound University prospectus cover.

[Top] Breaking in Franklin’s new suit with a Triathlon. [Bottom] Finished in 1st place, a little scuffed up but that’s what they get for trying to overtake.

GTA V allows you to switch between these characters during gameplay seamlessly. While the switching between characters may have seemed tricky to handle from watching the previews, the transitions work flawlessly and easily. Whether it is a slick character switch during a mission, or the camera hurtles skyward and descends onto the location of the desired character outside of missions, it’s an extremely fun dynamic to have.

Additionally, different characters have different things they are capable of doing in San Andreas from the property they can purchase to the events they can participate in. For instance, only Michael can embark on a higher journey and join the Epsilon Program [not a] cult, which brings me onto my next point - the internet.

Spent $16000 on a BS self-actualisation website, but at least I got this awesome T-shirt out of it.

Michael can sign up to the Epsilon Program (an in-game money scamming cult group) by surfing the web on his phone. Rockstar have developed the phone’s functionality much further than in previous games. Players can invest money in the stock market, buy properties and vehicles, read clever and imaginative web pages and as said, join cults. It’s pretty much all the fun of a real phone…and a real cult.

Ooooommmmmmmm

While any game’s soundtrack is yet to live up to Vice City’s V-Rock and Flash FM, GTA V does a pretty good job. From my previous blog post, you might come have to the conclusion that I am something of a rock music fan. If so, well you are a genius because that is exactly right! That’s where I have a small gripe with GTA V - it would have benefited from a rock radio station that didn’t just play The Cult or annoying, tinny punk music. Some metal, popular metal like Steel Panther, Alter Bridge or A7X. Big rock names. But they don’t and I find myself routinely flicking onto Radio Los Santos for rap music. It’s pretty good actually and I’m about as gangsta as The Pope.

That said, West Coast Talk Radio stands above all talk radio stations in previous GTA games. There are only a few comedies I can listen to or watch over and over and still find hilarious: Hot Rod, The Office, Community and West Coast Talk Radio. My favourite show being Chakra Attack, which features Chris Rock-like radio host Dr. Ray Deangelo Harris and his mild-mannered producer Cheryl. If you have no idea what I am yammering on about, listen to the full 30 minute show here. Or if you’re impatient like myself, check out my personal favourite snippet from 16:42 to 17:42.

As you drive North into San Andreas’ badlands, WCTR disappears from the radio wheel and is replaced by its Deep South counterpart, Blaine County Radio. Here, Danny McBride is the is the Axl Rose (remember K-DST?) of GTA V, hosting Beyond Insemination, with an equally amusing script.

Online Shenanigans

My first experience of GTA online began by choosing my grandparents. This made it difficult to alter my appearance directly, to resemble myself, so I chose whatever generated an appearance closest to Robert Downey Jr.

I was thrown into a semi-tutorial mission with another online beginner to secure a drugs package from a gang. I saw the criminal escaping so I took care of the gang members wailing on my designated partner and rolled the car up to the tunnel entrance. I beeped twice and to my surprise, in he got. I drove us to radar blip and together we took care of business. Following the end of the mission, in the spirit of teamwork, he ran me down with the car I procured and killed me. I smelt revenge, Emily Thorn style.

The next part of the tutorial missions take you to buy some new clothes. It was in Suburban where I spotted him trying on a new coat. But more importantly, his car was parked just outside. So, I unholstered my gat and shot out each of his tyres. Casually, I proceeded to do a little browsing myself and watch and laugh as he skidded away on his exposed wheel chassis. Oh what a fool he must have looked to the gang members across the street.

Following this, the game takes you to fit a tracker and purchase insurance on your new car at Los Santos Customs. Here, I lurked in a dark tunnel having switched off my headlights (another great little detail), underneath the overpass waiting for him to exit the mod shop so I could malevolently smash into his whip with my own. He didn’t see me, but I saw him. I was ready. Then my mum called me for dinner and I had to exit.

Once the online mode gives you a little more freedom, you get a real chance to explore. That’s when a group of police vehicles hurtled past me, sirens blaring, chasing another player down. Naturally, I decided to tag along on this high speed car chase. Fearing the apocalypse Terminator has warned us about I sided with the criminal - although they wouldn’t know it from my reckless driving. Eventually, this led to a helicopter pad. He got in and just before take off, I jumped into the passenger seat. I like to think this puzzled him at first until the camaraderie of fighting the police united us against a single enemy force. He flew off into the distance. I didn’t know where he was going but I was just along for the ride. Alarm bells rang as the chopper began losing altitude but as I glanced to the right I saw nobody sitting next to me in the driver’s seat and a guy parachuting down into the army base below. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that someone had skydived onto the helicopter, killed my driver comrade and made their escape by parachuting into the base. I also wanted to jump into the military base but the question was - did I have a parachute. There was only one way to find out. I was scared. The chopper was heading toward the ground. I had no choice. So I jumped. Turns out that yes I did have a parachute.

After a few seconds of freefalling I hurriedly mashed all the buttons on my PS3 controller until the chute opened. Gliding gently downwards, gracefully meandering left to right, I descended onto the hangar bay where the military jets are kept. This was my first opportunity handling, which was remarkably detailed. It allows the player unprecedented control allowing you to aim your final descent more carefully through precision landing. Then I snagged my parachute on a phone pole and died.

I later returned to GTA V Online with one of my bestest friends to tear up San Andreas. First on our agenda - rob a liquor store. I advised him that if we shoot at the ground, the cashier will crap himself and unload the money faster so we can make a quick escape. Now, maybe my friend isn’t a very good shot, maybe he just wanted all of the money for himself. All I know is, he shot his gun and I died.

Pictured above: Me, wearing my sunglasses at night while my friend stares off into the middle distance in front of a romantic skyline #selfie. Straight up legit.

We communicated over Skype which laboured our internet connections so perhaps it was just a misunderstanding. I forgive you, if you’re reading this.

Daddy Has Expensive Taste

As fun as online is, it’s not all that easy to raise the dough to pay for the things you want and levelling up can be a slow process. And daddy has expensive taste. There’s a wide variety of different mission types which become available quite quickly as you play, but maintaining a solid online party to play through a set of consecutive missions is laboursome. It definitely helps if you’re playing with some friends. But buy a headset unless you want them to headshot you mid petrol store robbery. Early on you’ll spend a lot of time growing close to your pistol and its lack of available ammo. But your weapon wheel fills up fairly quickly in the standard way with and uzi, shotgun and so forth.

Then came the $500,000 stimulus package to compensate the online community for Rockstar’s early server issues. Oh how sweet it was. If I were a wiser man, I would have carefully invested my monies by riding the waves of the stock market to even greater fortune. Two days later, I had roughly $12,000 left. Don’t get me wrong, I have stuff to show for it. I’ve got a killer crib, a sweet ride and my very own plane to show for it, but it’s all gone so it’s back to robbing petrol stores and betting large sums of money on myself in a process I like to call One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.

Chillin’ on the pier with my kickass whip. A little worse for wear up but had to teach some ragamuffins a lesson on the way down.

A Nice Touch

The GTA V Social Club is a nice touch. It is the first time I’ve seen a real integration which allows you to play/customise certain aspects of your game, away from the game. Such as your license plate and playing with Franklin’s dog, Chop. But my favourite aspect has to be the ability to manage your crew and the power given to you over the hierarchy of crew members. However, as Peter Parker’s uncle Ben always said, “With great power, comes great responsibility”. GTA V provides the freedom to ignore any responsibility and completely abuse that power in your crew’s strife to dominate the online community.

Social Club even allows you to assign your own names to different crew member ranks and decide what offensive thing to do upon winning a match.

Summary

GOOD: Exceptional story mode, endless post-game enjoyment, great soundtrack and hella fun.

BAD: Not applicable.

SCORE: 10 out of 10